• Tim Campbell on Celebrity Singing Bee… Needs to take less speed. Suggest marijuana. Man bounces around like … a very bouncy thing. On speed.
• People who get pissed off that they’ve just missed the train. Hey, even on the odd chance that the trains do run on time (it is Connex, after all), you should generally get there for the time that they’re listed as departing. Please note, they DEPART at the listed time, not arrive. Or at least that’s the theory. (Like I said, Connex - ‘Nuff said.)
• Dermot Brereton’s face. What is UP with that face? Well, his eyebrows are up, specifically. His face slants alarmingly upwards at the temples and his eyebrows have been shaped to within an inch of their lives. He’s gone from burly, boofheaded and not terribly smart footballer, to girly-man on Getaway. THE FUCK?
• My mouth hurts. Hurts hurts hurts. I have a wisdom tooth that’s rotting slowly and painfully and a very sensitive teeth that were actually filled a while ago - but obviously badly because they’ve been ultra sensitive since being filled. Have no sick leave with which to take myself off to hospital to get annoying wisdom teeth whipped out until late September… and do not want to risk mouth infections and problems THAT close to wedding day. No!
• I have a new wart. On the back of my hand. The fuck?! Nooooo! For those of you who may not know, my hands used to look like I had some sort of wood-rot. My fingers looked yucky. Going to have to attack myself with the special “paint” and a scalpel.
• Four months ’til the wedding! (No, I’m not counting down…120 days, 14 hours, 45 minutes…)

You were once residents of this lovely house. Actually, you, your mother, your friends who lived illegally in the caravan parked in the driveway and hooked up to the house, the dog you didn’t ask permission to keep, the engine body you kept in the laundry and the no doubt garbage bagfulls of dope from the awesome hydroponic set-up you had going on in the shed, all lived in this house. However, my point is, you no longer live in this house.

Unfortunately, we have been getting mail. And visits from police. And debt collectors.

It was bad enough when you abandoned the property, leaving us to explain to the gas company that, no, we were NOT going to pay your $700 gas bill. That took us about eight months of hassles from the gas company and their hired thugs to sort out.

Then the police dropped by for a visit. “Is Ms Holt here?” they ask. “No,” we say. “How do I know you’re not lying,” Mr Policeman says, “Because we’re telling the truth,” we say. “The lady who lives here is the daughter of the owner of the property,” we say. “Can you prove that,” he says. “We can,” we say, as we whip out licenses. “Are you friends of Ms Holt?” he asks. “No,” we say… and then explain all of the above. “Well, I have a warrant,” Mr Policeman says. “Officially you’re not supposed to read it, but I have to leave it here in case she comes back, so I’m guessing you’ll read it. Throw it away if she doesn’t return in three months,” he says.

We read it. It was chuckle worthy. Ms Holt, you are a moron. And the police also now know that you and yours were growing naughty plants in our backyard.

Now, Mr Allan… tsk tsk tsk. Please let me remind you to pay your phone bill on time. The nice people from Telstra keep sending me overdue notices with lots of late fees. I would call you, since your number is here on the letter, though I find it funny that Telstra have your number and won’t call you to find out your correct address - I mean, SURELY they could look that up on their system and find out where you live. I guess not.

Also, may I take this opportunity, Mr Allan, to remind you that joining the Victorian Ambulance service is very beneficial, say, if one topples over somewhere in Collingwood and ends up being driven to St Vincents Hospital. Fox Symes has sent a letter to let you know that you still owe them about $7000 for that quick ride. Actually, I think they mean business.

Now, Mrs Allan. Sharon. Shazzaaaaaaah… I know you’re thoroughly enjoying spending your Centrelink money (which I know you get because you’re still claiming rent assistance for this place) at the TAB, but I think it’s high time you told Club TAB and Crown Casino that you no longer live here too… unless you think you’re sharing the joys of gambling to which I must respectfully decline as I have enough of my own vices without adding to the pile.

Kind regards,

Ren

Jewellery porn - as in just the naked beads. Mmmmm.

The girls are arranging another gem buy from overseas. I’m all a-twitter and somewhat twitchy. I want stuff.

In particular… sapphires…

Beautiful rare UMBA sapphires… $245 USD for this strand…

And then there’s these sapphires, all 196 carats worth, for a measely $490 USD

Then there are these… gem quality sapphires… a 15.5″ strand of loveliness all for the low, low, completely reasonable, chump change price of $3500 USD (no, that’s not a typo). *sigh*

Fortunately there’s these lush green turquoise rondells which made me go all melty for $72 USD a strand…

Anyone for Champagne… Quartz? These are stunning and pretty much a bargain at $140 USD a strand… I love these round drops, they’re so cool…

And this… Moonstone with some awesome blue flash. This is proper moonstone, not that milky opalite stuff. UGH. $81 USD for the strand. Hmmm.

And of course, my absolute favourite, Labradorite with that amazing blue flash that comes out of nowhere. Slider pendant pieces for $38 USD each…

Sorry guys, this is the sort of stuff that gets me all itchy in the pants. I’ve got a serious bit of shopping to do and I can realistically only afford about $350 worth. *cries*

(More jewellery porn over at migem.com - where the piccies and prices came from.)

I was reading Daniel’s blog the other day about World Environment Day. To be honest, like Breast Cancer Day, Red Nose Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day*, and a myriad of other “days”, it passed me by without a second thought. Though the tips in Daniel’s blog made me laugh and groan a bit.

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